I can’t say much for certain but I know that the past two years have been stressful for everyone. I know I was more stressed than I’d ever been.

I got curious about Burnout after spending a couple weeks a little frozen. I had plenty to do, but my body was exhausted and paralyzed. As stressed as I was, I was not experiencing the same stress, worries, and fears many Americans faced during the pandemic and not to mention the stress healthcare workers were dealing with. 

I first heard of burnout during the pandemic. I listened to a podcast with Brene Brown and later read Burnout: The Secrets to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. 

In Burnout, Emily and Amelia Nagoski explore the ways humans deal with excess stress. Since it was so relevant to 2021, both Brene Brown and The Food Medic, Dr. Hazel Wallace, hosted the Nagoski sisters on their respective podcasts. 

The book was written pre-pandemic, but after last year’s unpredictable year, the novel seemed more relevant in 2021 than its initial print in 2018. 

So what is Burnout? 

Burnout is emotional exhaustion, “the fatigue that comes from caring too much, for too long.” In the Food Medic interview, Nagoski says unceasing demands and unmeetable goals cause repeated stress that ends in burnout. The more we don’t meet our expectations or the expectations of others, the closer to burnout we are pushed. The more we don’t deal with stress, the closer to burnout we get.

We are experiencing chronic stress and need to know how to effectively deal with that stress to avoid burnout. 

It is important to remember that  “We think we are cognitive rational beings who on occasion feel. In reality, we are emotional beings who on occasion think.” So, we must understand our emotions and stressors. 

Stress is not simply an emotion, but a cycle. A threat occurs, we react and it ends when we move through the stress response. The cycle is explained in the interview with Hazel Wallace: 

1. A threat occurs
2. We react to the threat and feel stress
3. The threat leaves and we complete (or don’t complete) the cycle in several different ways. 

Often, when our stress isn’t something we can react with fight or flight, we just sit in a state of stress.

For example, a gazelle running from a lion either escapes (which leads to a rise in dopamine). Humans need to complete a similar response. 

 But, just because we don’t have the same immediate stressors that may have existed hundreds of years ago we can still complete the stress cycle. 

Completing the Stress Cycle

The best way to complete the stress cycle is through physical activities. Going for a run, walk or working out can tell your body you are safe.

While physical activity is the most efficient strategy for completing the stress response, there are several other ways to complete the stress cycle: 

• Positive social interactions
• Laughter
• Affection 
• Crying 
• Creative expression 

Brene read a line from the book in her podcast that was striking:  “Feeling are tunnels. You have to go all the way through them to get to the end. Exhaustion happens when we get stuck in an emotion.” 

I’m stressed out by work, school, or another recurring factor. How do I avoid stress?

Let’s say your stressor is school. It’s chronic and happening over and over. 

When stressors are controllable, you can use “planful problem-solving”. This reminds me of James Clear’s quote: “we do not rise to the levels of our goals we fall to the levels of our systems.” 

We should be setting up systems that help us thrive. Waking up on time, using a planner, being proactive– all this helps us control our daily stressors. 

But, we can’t always control our stressors. When you can’t control stressors, you have to “decide that the repeated failure has value… and reframe the  difficulties as opportunities for  growth and learning.” 

A large part of managing stress is finding meaning in our lives

As we continue to close the stress cycle over and over again, it is important to find meaning within our lives. “We thrive when we are answering the call of something larger than ourselves,” says Burnout. 

But often people are just answering immediate needs with no larger perspective. This is exemplified in Human Giver Syndrome, when people, especially women, believe that a person has “a moral obligation to give their whole humanity, and give it cheerfully.” This can lead to burnout when we give, give, give while others only take. 

Rest and connection help us avoid burnout

The chapter on the importance of connection and rest resonated with me. I know that the more connected I am and the more sleep I get, the less stressed I am. Stressors aren’t as big a deal when I’ve gotten a good night’s sleep and I have a solid support system. In fact, in the Food Medic interview, Nagoski says if you can only change one thing, be sure to get enough sleep. 

Another tidbit I found interesting: daydreaming is rest for your brain and a break in the stress cycle. I never appreciated how helpful it is to just let your mind rest until I realized how effective he is when he studies or works. My brain doesn’t focus like his and I realized when reading this, I’ve stopped daydreaming as I did as a kid. 

And what better way to daydream than sleep? I’m convinced sleep is the most important daily task and we chronically neglect it. “When you are broken, go to bed.” 

Overall, Burnout helped me to learn to manage my stress and avoid exhaustion from everyday life.

It also helped me understand why it is important to take care of my emotional well-being. It is a wonderful start to actionable tactics to combat a chronic and relevant problem: stress and burnout. 

Most importantly, I learned that when we live out emotions from beginning to end, we can end the stress cycle. We tend to repress our emotions instead of cycling through them, which leads to chronic stress and eventually Burnout.

Of course, the book dives into much greater detail than I could mention in this article. It is available at any good bookseller or online.